Amusing Short Stories
by optimusprimus001
Summary: Soundwave's dancing, seekers are stealing, and a certian casseticon is knocked out cold... Now it's just not Megatron's day, is it? ... Aftermath is now requestable! Rated for a few 'Con skirmishes.
1. All for a Box: Part 1

**All for a Box (Part 1)  
**

It started in the dark room where the Energon was stored. Faint blue lights glowed at the three seekers from outside the room. A purple and black Decepticon was straining to reach a box on the shelf just above his reach, not wanting to activate his thrusters for fear of creating an energy signature. A blue-orange mech that looked almost exactly like the purple one was near the door, looking out for anything that might come across them. Halfway in between them, a red, silver, and black 'Con leaned against the wall, watching the purple bot struggle to get the box off the shelf.

"Don't just stand there, Starscream; Come help me!" the purple one growled, finally managing to get a grip on the box of Energon. The red, silver, and black 'Con gave him a blank look.

"It looks like you have it fine, Skywarp."

"Barely! Now how about some help, please?"

"Just do it, 'Screamer..." the blue and orange one said. "I think I see Ravage coming…"

Starscream sighed faintly and then straightened. He went over to where Skywarp was struggling with the box and easily took it down, being the tallest one of the three.

"Show off," Skywarp muttered, taking the heavy box from Starscream and starting towards the door. Thundercracker ran out of the room and down the hallway at a black cat-like 'Con who'd seen him.

"Ohh Raaavage….." He sang, grinning sharply. Ravage turned his black head towards him for a moment before turning and bounding down the hallway. "Uh oh," Thundercracker breathed, and raced down the hallway to catch the small 'Con. Ravage glanced behind him before sharply taking off towards the communications room.

"Get back here!" T.C. shouted. The blue-orange 'Con chased after the small, black cassetticon, who ignored his yell. Skywarp carefully checked around from the doorway before walking down the hallway as innocently as he could towards their room, the box in his hands. Starscream snickered to himself slightly as he calmly followed Thundercracker and Ravage…

* * *

A tall, blue and white Decepticon paused inside of the communications room. _Someone's chasing Ravage_, He thought, and turned towards the door. There was a sharp crash further away outside in the hallway followed by a loud "Roooawr!" Soundwave hesitated, aware that whoever had Ravage could call on someone nearby to help defend themselves from him. 

"Ow! 'Screamer he _bit_ me!" Thundercracker's voice came through the closed door.

"So?"

" Starscream…" The smaller seeker whined. "Hold still you black cat! Ow!"

"Rooarr!" Ravage growled, refusing to let go of the blue-orange Decepticon's hand. Soundwave made a quick decision, opened the door, and stepped into the hallway. He turned to look at Thundercracker, Starscream, and Ravage, frowning at the smaller two before noticing that Starscream was snickering in amusement.

"……" Soundwave glared at the three of them irritably. _I was in the middle of a data entry, only to be interrupted by this?_ The tall 'con thought in annoyance. He froze suddenly as he became aware that Starscream had a rather evil, plotting smirk on his face. Soundwave shifted uneasily, noting that the look was directed at him.

"Just what, exactly, are you smirking at?" Soundwave growled, giving Starscream a direct glare. The red, white, and black seeker's smirk grew bigger.

"You."

"… Why do I get the impression I really Don't want to be here right now?" Soundwave muttered, more to himself than anyone else. Starscream snickered sharply and pulled out a data pad. Soundwave froze, noticing some of the entries on the screen of the data pad in Starscream's hands. "You wouldn't…" He breathed, taking a step backwards, feeling his optics go wide.

"Indeed I would," Starscream sneered, before flinging himself at the taller 'Con.

"By Primus!" Soundwave roared, barely dodging him and running into the communications room, only to find Starscream blocking the way to the console that would notify Megatron.

"I _am_ 'by Primus'," Starscream snickered, and then tackled Soundwave before the bigger mech could attempt to escape again…

* * *

Megatron could feel his optic ridge twitching in annoyance, despite the amused grin on his face as he watched Soundwave dancing uncontrollably to the strangely addicting music the communications officer himself was playing. The entire situation was, in itself, odd- but it was amusing nevertheless. Megatron froze as the music Soundwave was playing ubruptly changed to one of the most annoying songs his communications officer had played yet. 

"... I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts- there they are standing in a row... big ones small ones some as big as your head..." Soundwave sang, doing a very odd dance that involved swaying from side to side with one finger of each hand pointing at the ceiling while he danced in a circle. Megatron put his face in his hands and groaned.

"Since when did things get so complicated when I leave Soundwave alone for more than five minutes?" The Decepticon leader muttered. He twitched in annoyance when Soundwave changed songs again.

"... Here's a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama... fuzzy llama, funny llama, llama llama- duck!" Soundwave barked as he danced. Megatron shot him an odd look and finally left the room, driven out by the sheer oddness of the song. He paused halfway down the hallway as something strange about the song hit him.

"Where the hell did 'duck!' come from?" Megatron wondered aloud. Then realizing he had the odd song stuck in his head, he swore and headed towards the medical room...

* * *

Subi: >P Amusing, yes? Muahaha... ... ... Hopefully the rest of you get to see what happens next; T'would be regretfull if you read this far only to drop it... oo; this was supposed to be a oneshot, but it may end up too long, so i'm going to make it into a short story instead... >D Review for the next chapter if you want it... 


	2. All for a Box: Part 2

**"All for a Box (Part 2)"**

Skywarp was in one of the rooms he and his brothers shared in the base, looking for a place to hide the box of Energon he'd stolen with Starscream's and Thundercracker's help. He'd put the box behind a chair, out of sight from anyone who came to the door and looked in, but he knew the box wasn't hidden well enough. And so, Skywarp was searching around in his room for a good place to hide the box completely when the door opened.

Scrapper stepped into the room, looking around for any of the three seeker brothers. The grey, black, and white Decepticon medic noticed the discreetly 'hidden' box beside a chair.

"Hello?" Scrapper called softly, not wanting to disturb Starscream if the dangerous, red, silver, and black seeker was the 'Con in one of the rooms. "Anyone here?" He added uneasily. Not getting an answer, Scrapper stepped closer to the box, and he carefully opened the lid to see what was inside. There was a sudden crash from the ajoining room closest to him, and Scrapper quickly dropped the lid back on the box and jumped to his feet.

"What're you doing here?" Skywarp demanded, standing in the doorway to the room.

"Uh... I was looking for Thundercracker... Longreach and I need to look at some of his leg circuitry from the last battle with the Autobots. We need to check to make sure..." Scrapper explained, edging away from the box and its contents. Skywarp's optics flashed between the box and Scrapper. "We think that extrenious walking might damage his flight circuitry so-"

"You opened the box, didn't you?"

"I... What?"

"_Did you open the box?_"

"Should it matter if I did or didn't? Where's Thundercracker, anyways?" Scrapper asked, edging further away from the box and Skywarp. The purple and black seeker let out a sharp shriek, and launched at the other Decepticon. "By the Allspark!" Scrapper cried out, dodging the bigger mech. Skywarp crashed into the opposite wall and stumbled away from both the wall and the other bot. Scrapper bolted for the door and skidded short when it opened to reveal Thundercracker and Starscream on the other side.

"Slag!" Scrapper shouted, turning to look for another way out. Skywarp shook his head and regained his balance before he took out his sword, advancing on the 'Con. Scrapper swallowed nervously and backed away from the purple seeker's glowing blade.

"No! Skywarp, leave him!" Thundercracker barked suddenly. Skywarp shook his head again, "He saw the box."

"It's a box! Who cares? You kill him and you'll have Megatron on us in less than a day!"

"_He saw the box!_" Skywarp snarled, and leapt at Scrapper, who was pinned in a corner.

"_Skywarp!_" Starscream screeched, jumping at his brother sharply. Thundercracker launched himself between Scrapper and his other brothers, taking the blow from Skywarp's blade instead.

The next few moments flashed by so fast that neither Scrapper, nor Thundercracker, could truely figure out what happened. At first, Starscream had pulled Skywarp away from them, his own sword in his other hand. The next moment, Skywarp's blade was embedded in Starscream's shoulder, and blood was everywhere. Skywarp was nowhere to be seen, and Starscream was on one knee, trying to pull out his brother's blade with his free hand.

"I am going to _get_ him for this..." Starscream muttered furiously as he got the blade out of his shoulder. "He is going to _get_ it...!"

* * *

When Megatron walked into the medical room, he was surprised when he found the last Decepticons he'd thought he'd ever see there in the room: Starscream and Thundercracker. Scrapper was repairing T.C., and Longreach was trying to convince Starscream to sit down so he could repair the seeker's shoulder. 

"Starscream-"

"No."

"You're going to get a virus if-"

"No."

"You're a stubborn seeker!"

"That's the general idea."

"Argh! You're crazy!"

"At least I admit it."

"Let me rep-"

"No."

"Slag!" Longreach yelled in fustration, and stormed over to help Scrapper repair Thundercracker. Starscream smirked faintly before seeing Megatron standing at the door with a curious look on his face.

"What do you want, Megatron?" Starscream growled. The Decepticon leader glanced at him before answering, "Soundwave has a small... 'programming error'. I came to get someone to fix him."

"Right," Longreach snorted, and turned away from the blue-orange seeker to start gathering tools to repair Soundwave. Starscream snickered slightly before getting himself under control again.

"Just wait until I get my hands on the 'Con that altered his programming..." Megatron growled, his optics narrow. Starscream fought back a laugh, and had to turn to hide the grin on his face from the Decepticon leader. "What happened to you two anyways?" Megatron demanded suddenly, looking between Thundercracker and Starscream.

"It's a long story..." Thundercracker said, shifting uneasily.

"Hold still!" Scrapper scolded, trying to finish repairing the seeker's circuitry.

"I'm going to _kill_ Skywarp!" Starscream snarled ubruptly, making them all jump. Megatron looked at the red, silver, and black seeker in surprise.

"Why?" Megatron asked cautiously, suddenly feeling wary of Starscream's clear rage at his brother.

"Skywarp stole it!" Thundercracker barked sharply, and with that, tore out of the room.

"Thundercracker! Get your aft back in here!" Scrapper shouted, chasing the blue, orange, and grey seeker. Starscream stood up, and fighting off the dizzy feeling he had, stumbled out of the room in seach of his other spark-brother. Megatron frowned after him for a moment before following Starscream down the hallway...

* * *

Subi: A three chapter story... Imagine that... >P Then I'll take requests. PM me a vague plotline and the main characters/protagonists if you'd like me to do one. I'm sorry I can't do any beast wars/machines at all- And any other Transformers before TF: Armada will be somewhat sketchy at best. My area of expertise is Armada and later, I'm afraid. But I'm willing to look up information to give it a shot, it just might not be as good. oo; 


	3. All for a Box: Part 3

**"All for a Box (Part 3)"**

Starscream walked down the hallway with a murderous look on his face. Megatron followed at a somewhat respectable distance behind the furious seeker, noting how any Decepticon they came across quickly got out of the way of the oncoming pair. Starscream ignored them all, following something he alone seemed to be able to see. After a few long moments, and several hallways later, they reached a half-lit room, deep within the base.

"Skywarp!" Starscream practically shouted, stepping into the room without hesitation. The purple and black seeker stepped into one of the few areas of light, looking at Megatron and his brother uncertainly.

"You had to bring him?"

"I don't care at this point," Starscream growled, his red optics burning furiously in the dark. Megatron noticed a box behind Skywarp, and recognized some of the markings on it.

"So that's what Thundercracker meant when he said 'Skywarp stole it'..." Megatron said mildly, looking at Skywarp. "You stole a box of Energon."

The purple seeker snarled, whipping out his sword sharply and jumping at him. Megatron started to bring his gun up, only to have Starscream pull out his own sword and meet Skywarp's blade in mid-strike.

"_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_," Starscream whispered, hearing one of his favorite Earth-songs playing in his head. He pushed his sword to the side and leapt back. _Feeling so faithless- lost under the surface..._ he thought, in time with the song, as he leapt forwards in his own attack. Skywarp staggered back, struggling to keep up with the speed of his brother's blade.

"_Don't know what you're expecting of me_," Starscream half-sang, half-spoke, pulling his blade back over his head and bringing it down on Skywarp's blade. "_Put under the pressure, of walking in your shoes..._" He continued, taking his blade away and throwing his left fist at his brother. Skywarp dodged, and dashed to the middle of the room.

"What in the world has gotten into you?" Skywarp panted, wondering at the strength and speed Starscream was showing in his attacks. Starscream turned around and walked purposefully towards his brother, his blade at his side. _Every step that I take is another mistake to you..._ Starscream stopped, and gripped the hilt of his sword with both hands. Skywarp realized what Starscream was about to do, and braced himself for a massive attack... At the same moment, they leapt at each other, and the dark room was suddenly lit with the glow of their swords swinging in attack and defense.

_I've become so numb-_

_I can't feel you there;_

_Become so tired,_

_So much more aware-_

_I'm becoming this,_

_All I want to do:_

_Is be more like me,_

_and be less like you..._

Starscream and Skywarp broke away, switching places from where they'd started before their attack. For a moment, it seemed neither had made a hit with their blades. Then several gashes seemed to break open in Skywarp's armor, and the overwhelming pain of it forced him off-line. He sprawled forward, and his sword clattered away from his grasp. Starscream straightened and turned to look at his brother's unconscious form. A moment later, a long gash appeared in his chest, parallel to the floor.

Megatron found himself rooted in his spot, astonished at the swordsmanship skills both had shown in their skirmish. Starscream shut off the power in his sword. The red glow around it faded to a innocent, silver sword, and lifting it somewhat, Starscream looked at his reflection in the blade thoughtfully.

"Incredible," Megatron said quietly, and moved over to Skywarp. Finding the purple and black seeker was still alive, Megatron walked over to the box and calmly picked it up. "I'm going to return this to _where it was supposed to be_ in the first place. The three of you are forbidden to leave the base until I say."

"Right..." Starscream growled, gathering his brother into his arms after putting away both of their swords. Standing up, Starscream started back towards their room...

* * *

"I can't believe you would actually consider killing him..." Thundercracker said, staring at Starscream. Both were sitting in a chair, facing each other. Starscream shrugged. 

"Suppose we should go tell him they aren't going to bring us food?" Starscream asked. Thundercracker looked at the locked door to Skywarp's room before looking back at Starscream.

"What if he asks where we're getting the food then? Should we tell him about the boxes we _successfully_ stole?" T.C. asked. For a moment they looked at each other.

"Nah..." They said together, and started laughing... ... ...

**End "All for a Box" Story**

* * *

Subi: >P Muahaha... Any requests? Let me know what you guys thought of the story, please! 

Note: "Starscream's" song is a clip from "Numb" by Linkin Parks. I am not a part of this band, nor do I claim the song as mine- though I find it a highly addicting song and play it over 15 times in a hour. >P


	4. Just Another Day: Part 1

Subi: Since I got so many requests to 'continue' this story, I finally got around to adding a little more chaos to it- though if any of you have suggestions as to where to keep going from anywhere in the story, just PM me the request and I shall consider... In the meantime, enjoy the newest temporary amusement/chaos!

* * *

"**Just Another Day (part 1)"**

"_Someone _tell me I'm hearing things..."

"Octane and Blitzwing...? Has he lost his _mind_?"

"What happened to Starscream and Soundwave?"

"Megatron, please, _please_, tell us you're joking..."

"Ohmigod... Ohmigod... I don't _want_ to be second in command! Ohmigod..." Blitzwing was, quite literally, freaking out over the newest announcement. Octane stared at the Decepticon leader, currently twitching in his 'throne', stunned that Megatron had selected the two triple-changers instead of Thundercracker and Skywarp, or Thrust and Ramjet, or some other more-qualified 'Cons to take over temporary command.

"SILENCE!" Megatron shouted over all of the noise, and it quickly became apparent that it was one of those rare occurrences where he wasn't heard. Finally losing his patience, he fired his forearm cannon at the middle of them as he leapt to his feet with a howl. The assembled Decepticons scattered away from the blast, and trembled fearfully as they looked at Megatron in horror. The silver 'Con was trying hard not to start spazzing out and teaching them all a lesson on why _he _was in command and not them.

"Now..." He said softly, his optics blazing a crimson red, "I'll _kindly_ remind you that this is only _temporary_... And if I hear _any_ complaints, the 'Con that _dares _to voice them _will be taking a **fatal** trip to the AUTOBOT ARK **WITHOUT**BACKUP **AND **UNARMED!_" Megatron finished with a roar, and firing his cannon again, chased the other Decepticons out of the room. Once they were all 'removed' from the area, Megatron returned to the center of the room and began pacing back and forth, irritated more than he was after a failed Energon mission.

"Damn Soundwave for letting himself get turned into a damned _dancing_ machine!" Megatron fumed to himself. "I don't pay him for his on-the-side skills that aren't useful here! Blast that traitor Starscream for 'reprogramming' him! If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't have failed that last mission in Texas! Slag Optimus for existing! Slag Prime for getting in the way of everything!" The door to the room slid open. "**_NOW_** WHAT DO YOU _BUGS _WANT?.!" Megatron roared, making the three Insecticons who'd entered jump a good five meters into the air.

"W-we's just w-wondering where our Energon cubes are..." Shrapnel began, shrinking away as the silver Decepticon leader advanced on them, looking about ready to rip them apart.

"And _WHY_ don't you go talk to the 'Con who _USUALLY _deals with your 'payment'?.!"

"Because-cause, Scapper said Soundwave was injured-injured..." Kickback whimpered, suddenly wishing he hadn't come, even if he _was_ ravenously hungry.

"THEN GO ASK SOMEONE _ELSE _FOR YOUR CUBES!" Megatron thundered, firing at the ground where the Insecticons were standing.

"Let's get out of here-here!" Kickback cried to the other two Insecticons as he dashed out in his robot form.

"Agreed, Kickback. Wait for us!" Bombshell called after him, as they hurried after their comrade, evading Megatron's blasts as he howled endless complaints and curses after them.

"**_BUGS_**! INSOLENT **PESTS**!.! YOU'RE **_LUCKY _**WE GIVE YOU ANYTHING TO **BEGIN **WITH, YOU SLAGGING EXCUSES FOR _DECEPTICONS_! LEARN SOME **RESPECT **FOR ME, OR BE TORN TO **_PIECES_**!.!" Megatron shrieked, firing off one last shot before they were completely gone. Soundwave, who'd nearly missed getting run over by the Insecticons, ducked reflexively as the infuriated Decepticon leader blew apart a corner of the door frame as the navy-white mech stepped into the room.

"Isolation request, Megatron, or may I proceed?" The still-slightly dazed, unfocused communications officer inquired tentatively. Megatron turned back around to face him, about ready to chew out the mech when he remembered that Soundwave was still recovering from his ordeal the day before. He gave the 'Con a glare instead.

"_You're _supposed to be _recovering_," Megatron growled. Soundwave crossed his arms stubbornly, "No; just not leaving the base."

"No nothing! Go to your room and get some rest or something!" Megatron argued. _I sound like a spark-parent with that last comment..._ He noted to himself in disgust.

"Remaining _and _recovering."

"SPARE ME!"

"Very well." Soundwave calmly walked towards the main computer console on the other side of the room, much to Megatron's dismay and annoyance. In fact, the 'Con leader looked about ready to strangle him. "Get out."

"Negative."

"I'LL GIVE YOU _A NEGATIVE **POWER** READING_ IF YOU DON'T _GET **OUT**_!"

"You three couldn't catch us if you tried!" a voice outside in the hallway challenged.

Megatron furiously spun around towards the door and fired just as Rumble, Frenzy, and Swindle ran in.

"Holy slagpits!" Rumble yelped, barely escaping the shot thanks to his height. Frenzy had narrowly missed getting a first-class ticket to oblivion as well, having dodged to the side as he came in, thinking that the shot had come from behind him, not the other direction. Swindle wasn't quite so lucky, getting clipped in the side from the blast and stumbling back into the wall beside the door. Soundwave let out a yelp as the older Casseticon ran into him, knocking them both over. "..."

"Ow... what'd I run into?" Rumble mumbled, and looked over at a sparking Soundwave, who was glaring at him as he tried to get back on his feet.

"... Frag," the purple-blue mech turned to escape back the way he'd come only to stop short, finding Megatron in the middle of the room was still fuming, and that their pursuers hadn't escaped the same fate.

"Oh man... Remind me to hold back on the rocket fuel next time we go chasing those three," Motormaster groaned, twitching in his sprawled position on the floor. Skywarp activated his optics and found himself in his own personal crater next to the wall. Astrotrain blinked up from the floor for a moment before Megatron stepped into his line of sight, the 'Con leader's optics burning with a deadly look in the slightly darkened room.

"Slag..." Skywarp muttered, using the dented wall for balance as he struggled to stand.

"Uh... heh... Greetings, Megatron?" Astrotrain supplied nervously from the floor, wishing to Primus he'd just ignored Rumble, Frenzy, and Swindle's tauntings when he went to get his Energon cube. Megatron simply glared at him and was about to reply when Rumble interrupted sarcastically, "Oh yeah, greetings, isn'it, Astrotrain? This was just all fun and games, wasn'it? Me and Frenzy didn' do nothing that would have upset you three, and Swindle wasn't tryin' to swindle a cube of Energon out of you guys either, right? Just playing around fer once--"

"Oh shut your vocabulator, Rumble!" Skywarp snapped.

"Who're you tellin' to shut yer trap?.! Just 'cause your brother isn' here doesn't mean that--"

"My brother _is_ here, and you'll leave that traitorous glitch out of this conversation!"

"Oh yeah? Whatcha goin'ta do about it, huh? If Starscream's here, then why isn't he _here_, huh?" Rumble retorted, "Hah! I bet he _isn't _here! I bet Megatron kicked his cybernetic aft back to Cybertron to run the trash compactors! Starscream always was a wimp! After all, just look at the effect he's had on you--Meep!" the purple-blue Casseticon squeaked as Soundwave himself kicked the miniature mech at the seeker.

"Silence requested," the communications officer intoned, seeming to sway unsteadily for a moment before catching himself. Soundwave then took a step towards the other five 'Cons, red optic-visor glowing, "Request to disassemble them, Megatron."

Megatron continued to glare at Astrotrain, Motormaster, and Swindle. "Granted to your Casseticons, Soundwave. The others have a... _different_ punishment in store for them-- Except for Skywarp..." Megatron paused for a moment, noticing that the black and purple jet was no longer in the room.

"Target warped, Megatron."

"I'm _AWARE_ of that, Soundwave!" Megatron snapped back. "And **_YOU_**three!" Rumble, Frenzy, Swindle, Astrotrain, and Motormaster all jumped to attention in alarm, not sure who Megatron was referring to. "You have _one breem_ to get your afts in gear and ready for a 'skirmish' right outside the Autobot's Ark! Now get out!"

Two Combaticons and a triple-changer made a mad dash for the doorway, somehow managing to not run into each other as they fled the room. Rumble and Frenzy shrank back against the wall as Soundwave advanced on them with the look of a demented hunter come to avenge some lost cause...

Megatron gave the navy-white Decepticon one look and left the room, not particularly interested in the idea of finding out what sort of diabolical, agonizing torture Soundwave could come up with when the 'Con's logic circuits were still on the fritz and clearly wasn't in a 'good' mood... ... ...


End file.
